


Oh Yeah!

by occultclysms



Series: Father of All Motherfuckers [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blood, Forgiveness, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Prom, Stephen King References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27623021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultclysms/pseuds/occultclysms
Summary: Some would say that Taeyong overdoes it, but they’ve clearly never had their life meticulously planned down to even the food they eat since they were five by parents who claim to know what's best. That isn’t normal, but normal is such a meaningless word at this point. There is no such thing as normal.
Relationships: Kim Jungwoo/Lee Taeyong
Series: Father of All Motherfuckers [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008501
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Oh Yeah!

**Author's Note:**

> hELLO the homophobic language tag is for one specific line that happens, but its still important to tag. also taeyong's feelings in the ending might be a little weird, but really think about his character and i think it'll make sense
> 
> next fic is nov 23 !

December 2, 2020

Mark isn’t paying attention. Taeyong subtly bites the inside of his cheek, the only form of stress release that he can get away with. Everyone is looking over at Yeri who’s sharing a brilliant idea as usual, but Taeyong can’t help looking over at Mark from time to time.

Taeyong isn’t the type to really…  _ have friends _ , but he would consider Mark someone he at least enjoys to be around, even if Mark has other people he talks to much more often.

All fifteen students are sitting around a large conference table in the library. They’ve all been there since eight thirty this morning and it clearly was starting to get to a few of them. Particularly Mark who seemed to be dozing off. He isn’t normally like this and that’s the thing that really gets under Taeyong’s skin. There’s something  _ wrong _ with Mark, but Taeyong doesn’t think it’s his place to say anything. 

Back to the meeting.

“I think we should host prom on site instead of going somewhere else,” Yeri continues. “That gives us a larger budget to spend on decor, music and consistent theming.” She looks to Taeyong for approval and Taeyong thinks it over. Off site prom wasn’t all that exciting last year, so maybe on site could be a good idea.

“Yeah, I think that would be best,” Taeyong agrees and Yeri beams at him. Then the topic shifts to decorations which Taeyong doesn’t particularly care about. He would never say that aloud, even alone in his home though. It’s all about presentation.

Some would say that Taeyong overdoes it, but they’ve clearly never had their life meticulously planned down to even  _ the food they eat _ since they were five by parents who claim to know what's best. Taeyong honestly doesn’t even know if his parents are right, but he’s been on this road with zero mistakes in the past thirteen years, so he might as well see it through. The plan ends with him happily married with three kids and seven grandkids, all of which already have names. Taeyong knows that isn’t normal, but normal is such a meaningless word at this point. There is no such thing as  _ normal _ . 

This is what Taeyong tells himself to avoid having to think about a future which doesn’t look like the one that he’s most certainly going to get to.

Moving on.

Taeyong is student council president which is —usually— a position with little power in it really. But Taeyong is  _ Taeyong _ and has slowly increased the power he holds over the students during the past two years. Admin doesn’t like to give up power, but they feel like they can trust Taeyong because he’s their ideal version of a student in public school. Always does his homework, respectful to adults, top of his class—

A new train of thought. 

Mark is fiddling with his fingers and staring at his lap. With a slight adjustment of his chair, Taeyong can see that Mark is texting. He doesn’t blame Mark, but the Mark he knew three months ago wouldn’t do that. He supposes it’s just strange.

The bell rings for lunch, meaning that everyone gets to leave and take a break from the pain of planning everything out to the very last detail. Taeyong says goodbye to everyone, but doesn’t leave the library. 

“Aren’t you going to lunch?” Mark asks, hanging back. Taeyong shakes his head.

“I brought my own, I think I’m just going to look over the types of balloons and streamers Yeri brought up,” Taeyong says. It’s a lie. He  _ knows _ it's a lie, but it’s so believable and  _ Taeyong  _ that Mark buys it and leaves.

Taeyong has the whole library to himself. He double checks that the doors are shut before sitting back in his chair. Takes a deep breath in, and then lets it out slowly. The only moment of the day where Taeyong can relax.

He pulls out his lunch from his backpack and sighs. Seven carrots, a turkey sandwich and exactly two small chocolate chip cookies. The same thing Taeyong has had for lunch every single school day this year. Something about the endless consistency is really starting to get to Taeyong.

But it’s okay, he’s good with patterns. Only a few more months and then he’ll be in college which will likely be only marginally better. He already has all of his classes and extracurriculars chosen, but his day will still be less heavily regulated. A bit of freedom is all he can ask for.

December 24, 2020

Taeyong doesn’t like Christmas. It’s another of those thoughts he’d never say aloud. This one would probably actually offend people though. What’s so good about an essentially consumerist holiday? Granted, it’s a bit more than that, the holidays always tend to put Taeyong in a bad head space. 

School is a break from home life because  _ home life _ means that if Taeyong even so much as breathes wrong, his family will lecture him. Just another negative of being an only child, there’s no one to split the lectures with. Despite the desire for Taeyong to have three kids, his parents only had one. In Taeyong’s opinion, he finds it a bit strange. There’s probably more to the story, but Taeyong isn’t the type to ask.

Everyone has already eaten Christmas Eve Dinner and they’ve just gotten back from Church, which means it's time to open gifts. Every single one is perfectly wrapped, not a bow off center nor a single gift bag in sight.

It looks like a stock photo.

_ Inside thoughts, inside thoughts, inside thoughts.  _

Taeyong kneels next to the Christmas tree, one of four kids there. He has three cousins, all several years younger and therefore more prone to mistakes. He’s heard his mother talking after people have left, complaining about how her sister has no care for how her kids act.

The kids are sweet and kind, but sometimes speak out of turn. They’re six, nine and twelve. Taeyong has seen the changes in the oldest and now she’s never called out on anything because she simply doesn’t do anything.

Spending Christmas with his family makes Taeyong want to never celebrate Christmas again. He’d rather be alone in bed with all of his lights off than get things he doesn’t really want from people who all seem like plastic Barbie dolls.

Taeyong knows he doesn’t look quite like a Ken doll, but he feels like he’s as close as he’s going to get to one. That’s not a nice thought, so he backs off. Shuts it away with the other thoughts he’s not supposed to have.

“Taeyong, why don’t you open a gift?” his mother asks and he knows she’s not asking, so Taeyong selects one at random, hoping it’s the right one. He unwraps it, pretending like he’s having a great time. It’s a new pair of AirPods, which are nice, but Taeyong’s old ones still work perfectly fine and he didn’t ask for new ones for new features or anything. As long as they play sound, he doesn’t really care.

“Oh wow,” Taeyong says, holding up the gift and smiling. A moment later the attention is off Taeyong and he goes back to looking at the Christmas tree. It’s so, so pretty, but Taeyong just wants to knock it to the ground. He squeezes his hands into fists in his lap for a moment, allowing himself to release some tension and he feels a piercing set of eyes on him so he immediately relaxes them and focuses on whoever is opening a gift. 

That’s minor enough where no one is going to yell at Taeyong, but he’ll get some disapproving looks as people are leaving. All Taeyong wants is to be alone, but he’s got to endure at least another two hours of this.

Without realizing, Taeyong’s thoughts turn to something forbidden; Jungwoo Kim. Jungwoo is a forbidden topic because he encourages Taeyong to express himself. He can see that Taeyong is…  _ uptight _ , for lack of a better word to describe being ‘controlled by his parents to the point where he doesn’t even know how to act normally— like how most others do.’

Jungwoo isn’t on the student council, in fact he’s the head of the GSA at school, the one club that Taeyong was banned from joining. Because being one of them or even associating with them could damage Taeyong’s reputation, his future. Though it should be noted that he shouldn’t be rude to them directly, just not supportive. A thin line to walk that Taeyong doesn’t like and one that Jungwoo ignores routinely. He doesn’t know that the line exists, but he hangs around Taeyong all the time, always looking at him with admiration and kindness, so Taeyong doesn’t push him away even though he should be kept at arms distance.

But today is a rough day, so Taeyong will allow himself to think about how Jungwoo sometimes brushes his arm or will touch his shoulder. It’s all very platonic, but every time Jungwoo touches Taeyong, his skin would tingle afterward which isn’t really normal— but normal is fake and Taeyong lets it happen without thinking much about it.

Eventually, Taeyong has to stand and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a safe trip home, along with helping load gifts into people’s cars. 

Then it's quiet. Both of Taeyong’s parents say goodnight, but don’t bother wishing Taeyong a Merry Christmas. It doesn’t bother him. He heads up the stairs and places his new things on his desk, deciding to put them away tomorrow.

Tonight he can dream of a Christmas where he is all alone.

January 4, 2021

It’s the first day back from vacation. He walks into his first period class and takes his usual seat. There isn’t set seating, Taeyong simply chooses to sit in the same seat in the front row everyday. He’s good at patterns. He’s there fifteen minutes early as usual and his time is generally used to drink tea from a thermos and prep his notebook for class. It’s English, but there’s a surprising amount of notes involved in it.

Jungwoo sits down next to Taeyong which isn’t normal— isn’t the way things were last semester. Taeyong doesn’t say anything at first, but eyes Jungwoo without making it obvious that he’s looking. Jungwoo pulls out a metal tin of cookies shaped like a Christmas tree. Oh, that’s sweet.

“You can quit pretending not to look at me,” Jungwoo says, turning his head over to Taeyong who’s eyes go wide. “I’m a master of detecting eyeballs.” Taeyong feels the urge to smile, but can only make himself bite back half of it.

“Okay. I was curious about what you have,” Taeyong admits. There’s no one sitting around them and Taeyong talking to Jungwoo isn’t a red flag by any means. 

“Good. This is for you,” Jungwoo replies, handing the Christmas tree tin over to him. Taeyong looks at it in his hands and doesn’t quite believe his eyes.

“ _ Me _ ?” 

“Yes, you.” Jungwoo looks a bit embarrassed himself. “You mentioned once that you really like sweets but you never get them so I made you cookies.” The thoughts are happening again. And Taeyong really can’t stop them. He stares, transfixed at Jungwoo and feels his heart surge. Breaking out into a full smile, Taeyong sets the tin on his desk.

“Thank you so much,” Taeyong mumbles. “This— this really means a lot to me.” A dangerous thought pops into Taeyong’s mind. He’ll have to ask his mom about it later and hope that she agrees without realizing his true intentions.

  
  


April 4, 2021

It took so much convincing but  _ finally  _ Taeyong convinced his mother to let him have a friend over for Easter. That was of course, provided that his friend also went to church and participated with the family. Taeyong had agreed, hoping that wasn’t too much for Jungwoo.

Jungwoo had agreed and said that it wasn’t a big deal. And Taeyong left it at that, just saying his family is a bit strict and Jungwoo said that he totally got it, which can’t be true for Taeyong’s specific case, but it was good enough.

And Jungwoo showed up to church dressed in his Sunday best despite not being a church goer and Taeyong’s mom seemed to approve of Jungwoo which made Taeyong’s heart soar. If everything went well maybe he could actually hang out with Jungwoo.

They return home after church, ready for their annual egg hunt. Most of the eggs are hidden in the front yard, but every once and a while there will be eggs hidden in the backyard. Mainly because Taeyong’s parents will hide forty eight eggs and can’t reuse all the same hiding spots as the previous year. Everything planned to a T.

“Do you have any tips on where the eggs might be?” Jungwoo asks. “Because I’ve only found three eggs so far and you have eight.” Taeyong looks down at his basket. Yep, eight eggs.

“I might have a tip, but you have to follow me,” Taeyong says. “Just to the backyard don’t worry.” Jungwoo smiles and Taeyong feels his fingers tingle.

“Okay, lets go,” Jungwoo replies, following close behind Taeyong as they walk around the side of the house. “Now where are the eggs?”

“This is your hint,” Taeyong protests. “I’m not gonna tell you where the eggs are.” Jungwoo pouts and Taeyong coos, poking one of Jungwoo’s cheeks. It’s impulsive and right after he does it he regrets it, but Jungwoo doesn’t react.

“Are you sure I can’t bribe you?” Jungwoo asks, tone slightly teasing, taking a small step closely. Honestly, Taeyong would spill where all of the eggs are if Jungwoo would just brush their hands together. Taeyong misses the little tingly feeling from when they accidentally touch. Spring break is nearly over so it’s been over a week since the last time Jungwoo and Taeyong were face to face.

Taeyong loves having Jungwoo as a friend. He’s someone very special to Taeyong and he’s so glad that Jungwoo treats him with kindness. 

“Maybe you can,” Taeyong teases, not even sure what he’s hoping for.

“I’m sure I can.” Jungwoo sets down his egg basket and takes Taeyong’s from him, setting it to the side. They’re standing on the back lawn of Taeyong’s yard and Taeyong feels his stomach fill with an unfamiliar emotion—  _ anticipation _ .

But then Jungwoo does something unexpected. Something both beyond Taeyong’s wildest dreams and something directly out of his nightmares.

Jungwoo closes the distance between them and kisses Taeyong squarely on the mouth. For a moment, Taeyong’s whole body feels like it’s been lit aflame, that familiar tingle spreading far throughout his body. 

Then Taeyong feels the grass beneath his shoes and remembers where he is. He’s at home. The worst place for this to happen. He’s frozen there, but Jungwoo’s lips are still against Taeyong’s. Taeyong knows that someone he knows is going to show up here eventually.

Fight or flight mode kicks in and Taeyong does something he knows he’s going to regret. So he shoves Jungwoo away from him, knocking him on his ass. 

“What the fuck?” Jungwoo mutters.

“You— you fucking  _ fag, _ ” Taeyong spits. The words burn his tongue, but he has to cover. What if someone saw? What if someone saw? “Get the fuck away with me.” 

“You knew I ran GSA, why is this a surprise to you?” Jungwoo stands up and brushes off his clothes, looking at Taeyong with venom in his eyes.

“I didn’t think you’d force yourself on me.” Jungwoo takes a deep breath before saying something that would come to haunt Taeyong.

“Homophobes can’t get away with shit anymore,” Jungwoo says before storming off. Taeyong stands there for a moment, feeling numb, like his blood has turned to ice. He doesn’t know how long he stands there for, but Taeyong hears footsteps and snaps the mask back on. 

“Where did Jungwoo go?” Taeyong’s mom asks.

“He had a family emergency,” Taeyong lies. He lies like breathing at this point. Every other sentence is some sort of mashed up half truth. He was doing so well. And now… 

“Oh, that’s awful.”

“Yeah, I’m going to freshen up for a moment,” Taeyong says and his mother nods. Taeyong’s lying again. Instead, he goes into his bedroom and cries. It’s the first time Taeyong has cried in over ten years, but the guilt is already all consuming. 

He doesn’t like the slur he said. It’s a word he’s feared for a long time, but it felt necessary. Taeyong had to do it because  _ what else could he do _ ? No one can know about— or even get a glimpse of his secret. His gross, awful, terrible secret.

  
  


April 12, 2021

It’s been a week since Taeyong’s come back from spring break. Jungwoo won’t even look in Taeyong’s direction and now sits as far away from Taeyong as possible. 

Taeyong looks in the mirror every morning and sees himself grow sicker and sicker looking. The year is almost over so nothing even matters anymore. He sits through his classes and only focuses on his classes, staying late every day to pull off the set up for prom. 

To make matters worse, Taeyong’s parents pushed him to try and become prom king. So now in between all of Taeyong’s classes he sees his own Ken doll face all over the school. It's some sort of sick irony.

Oh, what a lovely life Taeyong leads.

  
  


April 24, 2021

The night of prom comes around. Taeyong ended up without a date, but then again, he already knew loneliness was to be in his future. It’s just happening a lot sooner than he expected.

Taeyong doesn’t want to go, but he straightens the stupid bow tie on his tux and heads down the stairs, plastering on a fake smile to appease his parents.

“It’s such a shame you don’t have a date for tonight,” his father says and Taeyong ignores him. Yeah, such a shame Taeyong didn’t take a nice woman with him to prom. Yeri would have been an ideal date, but he felt weird about asking her since he doesn’t actually like her in that way and going ‘as friends’ seemed odd when they’re barely more than acquaintance.

“Yeah, but it’s okay,” Taeyong replies. “I don’t need a date.” His father frowns, but doesn’t say anything. Taeyong isn’t even trying to be rebellious, rather he’s trying to be encouraging to himself, something his father doesn’t seem to even try anymore.

“You’re taking the car, right?” Taeyong’s mother asks and Taeyong nods. “Do you already have the keys?”

“Yes, mother.” Taeyong pats his pocket for good measure.

“Have fun tonight, dear.” 

“I will.” Taeyong leaves his house and briefly considers ditching his own prom. Someone will say something if he somehow does get crowned as prom king and isn’t there, so while Taeyong thinks he doesn’t deserve to win, there’s no telling what’s going to happen.

Taeyong steps into the school gymnasium early. It’s been turned into a beautiful undersea palace of sorts and while Under the Sea is such a common theme, the student volunteers have done a lovely job. Taeyong will have to write them all thank you notes tomorrow or on Monday.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Taeyong asks Yeri, who’s already dressed and looks like a modern Cinderella. She’s really quite pretty and Taeyong wishes he could feel for her what he feels for Jungwoo. That’s a bad thought that Taeyong doesn’t want to have, but it’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t even care anymore. Everything is going to shit anyway. Taeyong still has some sort of feelings in relation to Jungwoo and while he still refuses to address it in the way that he should. He knows it’s there, but it stays in it’s own little box, so Taeyong doesn’t quite know what it is, but he has a hunch.

“There really isn’t anything left. People are wrapping out counting for prom king and queen, so I’m out here since I’m running for prom queen and I can’t risk compromising anything,” Yeri explains. 

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Taeyong agrees, slipping his hands into his pockets, playing with his car keys as a way to stay relaxed. He’s on edge simply from the fact that Jungwoo might show up to prom. Taeyong has no idea how Jungwoo feels about the event or anything, so he might just not come, but there’s still a chance he’ll show up, and it’s messing with Taeyong’s head. 

He really does feel bad. But feeling bad isn’t really enough, is it? Taeyong would have to properly apologize and explain why he did what he did... which he can’t do. 

Yeri’s phone buzzes and she pulls it out of a secret pocket in her dress and she squeals. Taeyong looks to her to see if she’ll say what happened.

“They finished vote counting and the doors are gonna open in fifteen minutes,” Yeri says. “Would you like to come help me?”

“Of course,” Taeyong replies.  _ Go through the motions. _ Go through the motions. Keep going. 

Taeyong lets his body take over for him as he waits for the dance to kick into full swing. He and Yeri greet people and allow them in, taking tickets and smiling at people. 

All the faces blur into one and Taeyong doesn’t actually really recognize anyone, but he pretends to be at least semi familiar with them. Part of being student council president, everyone knows Taeyong, but Taeyong doesn’t necessarily know everyone else.

Yeri tells Taeyong he can go dance and he nods, walking back to the inside of the gym. By now there’s music, the lights are dim and everyone seems to be having a good time.

For the briefest of seconds, Taeyong sees Mark walk by the punch table and fill two cups. He kind of wants to ask if Mark is doing better now, but he really shouldn’t. Mark’s been showing up to meetings and acting like himself, but Taeyong knows that that isn’t really a sign of things being the way that they should be.

Mark disappears back into the crowd and Taeyong finds himself idling by a punch table with no one to talk to. He doesn’t even really want to talk to anyone, but he can hear his father’s voice in his head telling him that ‘no one likes loners’. 

So Taeyong picks up a cup and fills it with some punch, no idea if there’s alcohol in it already. He hasn’t been paying close enough attention and well, this is senior prom, so he sort of expects it. 

Taeyong doesn’t bother with taking a sip, instead using the cup as a prop, as something to do with his hands. He walks towards the back of the gym and goes through one of the doors into the front room of the gym.  _ Why is there a lobby in the gym? _ He doesn’t have a clue. But no one uses it as people are coming in the side doors with tickets.

It’s a strange decision, but Taeyong decides not to drink his punch. He chooses to assume it’s alcoholic, and, like in every teen movie ever, he pours it in a drinking fountain. Better not to shatter the expectations.

There’s no telling how much time goes by with Taeyong pacing around the room, doing nothing of importance or interest. All he has to do is kill time until they announce prom king and queen and then after that he can leave early.

After that part, no one is going to be looking for him and will probably assume he went home with someone or just called it an early night. Which is completely fine by Taeyong. The music gets quiet and since Taeyong reviewed the rough schedule for the night, this is the only time someone is going to talk in front of people. 

He slips right back into the gym and hovers near the back. The principal is making a speech about them being seniors and going to college and becoming adults. It’s a speech Taeyong has heard his entire life, at school and at home and he’s honestly bored of it. But he would never say that. 

Taeyong can’t figure out if he’s feeling rebellious or not. On one hand, his mind is just doing whatever the fuck it wants, Taeyong not really having the will to stop it. But on the outside there is no change in Taeyong. He looks like he always does, talks like he always does. He would be the perfect Ken doll if he somehow got rid of his brain.

“And now to announce our prom king and queen,” the principal begins and Taeyong perks up.  _ Don’t be him, don’t be him, don’t be him. _ “Our queen this year is the lovely Yerim Kim!” Everyone cheers, including Taeyong who really does mean all of his clapping. Yeri is a really great person who completely deserves to be prom queen. “And our king for this year—” the principal holds for effect which does nothing but make Taeyong anxious. “—is Taeyong Lee.” 

There’s the same amount, maybe even louder cheering as Taeyong mindlessly walks toward the stage. He doesn’t even know who else was running for prom king. All he knows is that the other person deserves it more than him.

Taeyong steps onto the stage, looking over to Yeri who completely pulls off the tiara and sash that they gave her. A crown is placed on Taeyong’s head and he smiles. Then there’s the sash which feels cheap, but it does its job visually. They both stand on either side of the podium where the principal is speaking again. 

Yeri comes to the podium and gives her thank you speech. It’s quick and clearly practiced. Taeyong hadn’t bothered to write one, which in hindsight was a huge mistake. But he’s decent with improvisation, so he steps up to the podium and takes a deep breath ready to say some positive bullshit, but then something is poured on him. And it only takes him a moment to figure out what. 

_ Pigs blood. _

Jungwoo Carrie-d Taeyong. Amazing. Just absolutely, fucking amazing. Taeyong tries to rub some of the blood away from his eyes so he can open them again. He has no doubt that someone is filming this and that whatever he says next is going to define him in some way. Taeyong blinks for a moment before leaning in to the microphone to speak.

“I know who did this. I know why too, but will remain nameless for now,” Taeyong begins. The microphone still works, but the crowd is stunned into silence, so he barely even needs it. Taeyong laughs coldly and pushes his hair away from his face, smearing the blood across his forehead. He’s really soaked from head to toe in the shit. “It’s because I called him something homophobic and vile, which is… so _obviously_ _wrong_ and I really regret saying it. But I said it to cover up for the fact that I’m gay. I’ve been told my whole life I shouldn’t be, and to keep my distance from those are. So yeah, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you all.” 

Taeyong walks backstage, half expecting to see Jungwoo standing there, but he isn’t there. Surprisingly, Taeyong’s chest feels lighter. There’s hell waiting for him when he goes home, but what else was Taeyong supposed to do in that situation really? He both apologized and got a burden off his chest. A burden so strong that that’s the first time Taeyong has put a name to it. He walks through the back exit in the gym and makes his way outside.

He’s certainly red all over and tracking blood everywhere, but someone will clean it up. Taeyong does feel bad for the janitor that has to, but Taeyong isn’t going to be the one to clean up his own pigs blood. 

Taeyong also knows he can’t stain the car, so he might as well just sit out on the back steps of the school until this stuff dries off. He walks past the football field and reaches the back steps of the school. No one should really come out here since it’s on the opposite side of the school as the gym. Taeyong loosens his tie and takes off his tux jacket. 

The poor jacket is gonna need to be thrown away or burned. It’s gone. Taeyong laughs at that for some reason. He feels a drop of blood drip past his ear and pushes his hair back again. Blood is already drying on parts of him, making it somehow doubly gross. 

Not to mention that Taeyong reeks. Though no one is about to tell him that when there’s an obvious reason why. Life is so stupid. All of this is pointless. Taeyong stares at his feet, unsure of how to pass the time.

“Taeyong?” Taeyong snaps his head up to see Jungwoo. “What happened?” Taeyong full on laughs, assuming Jungwoo is kidding.

“What do you mean?” Taeyong stops himself from laughing for a second. “You did this to me. Are you really pretending that you didn’t do this as some form of revenge?”

“I didn’t!” Jungwoo exclaims. “I hate homophobes as much as the next person, but I’m not really pro-public-humiliation.” Jungwoo seems genuinely sincere, which only makes Taeyong wonder who on Earth did this to him.

“Then I have no idea who did this.” Taeyong’s blood runs cold. “I just came out to  _ everyone _ for no reason.” 

“You what?”

“Funny story— I’m gay,” Taeyong says. The words feel like lead in his mouth. All weird and wrong. Jungwoo’s mouth makes an O shape. “Yeah, not so funny actually. Pretty cliche of me honestly.” Somehow the filter Taeyong once had is completely in the wind.

“I’m so sorry.” Jungwoo sits down next to Taeyong. “I actually think I know who did this and it’s for the reason you thought  _ I _ did it.” Jungwoo looks at Taeyong with guilt in his eyes. “After Easter, I ranted to a friend about how much of an ass you were and he got equally as upset. He’s just… fine with the whole public humiliation thing. I literally just got here because he texted me saying that I had to get down here. I was at a party, about to hook up with Jaehyun so you saved me in some way.”

“Do you not like Jaehyun?” Taeyong asks. He has a vague idea of who Jaehyun is. A skater boy, always high, really good looking.

“I’m not attracted to him, but he’s really into me and sometimes I just need to feel something,” Jungwoo confesses. “Something about the guy you like calling you a slur will make you seek out affection in the wrong places.”

“I’m really sorry. Like more sorry than you can even know,” Tayeong gushes. “I’m not trying to excuse my actions, but if my family caught me, they would have thrown you out and then probably grounded me forever.”

“That’s a bit harsh,” Jungwoo mutters.

“They control literally every waking moment of my life. Did you know that I’m going to have seven grandkids and one of them is going to be named Estella?” Taeyong’s trying to keep it light but Jungwoo’s face drops.

“Oh, you weren’t even exaggerating… Like, its one thing to have strict or homophobic parents, but yours are straight up  _ crazy _ ,” Jungwoo says. “And that’s coming from  _ me, _ speaking as a mentally ill person.  _ Why would they do that to you _ ?”

“No clue why, but that’s the way things are. You were the first person I had over to my house since middle school. And I had to beg my mom to even let you come over.” Taeyong glances at Jungwoo and sees his expression. “That isn’t to make you feel bad, I’m just giving context.”

“I now get why my friend made me come down here so quickly. He didn’t give details. I don’t know what to say to him though, I didn’t think he was going to do something like  _ this _ .” 

“I don’t care really. Honestly, _ thank him _ .” Jungwoo looks at Taeyong incredulously. “Yeah, I know but think about it. Have you ever spoken to me and had me be open about anything?” Jungwoo is quiet. “The answer is no, but it’s intentional. It sort of broke down my walls and now I can’t shut up. It’s really weird considering how I normally won’t even voice opinions on things because I don’t want people to dislike me.” Jungwoo keeps staring at Taeyong. “ _ I really hate Christmas. _ ”

That breaks Jungwoo and he laughs along with Taeyong. Jungwoo rests his hands on his knees and stares at the football field. Taeyong follows his eyes and looks to see if there’s anything worth looking at. 

“Anything else you want to confess?” Jungwoo asks. “Do you secretly hate puppies too? That’s a joke!”

“I love puppies don’t worry,” Taeyong reassures. “But I think I have like gay feelings for you, and I get it if you don’t feel the same towards me anymore, but I don’t really have anything to lose here.”

“Yeah, I’m definitely still into you,” Jungwoo says, still looking at the field. “I used to beat myself up about it, but feelings don’t conform to our wishes.”

“That hit home a little too hard.” Taeyong is starting to feel sticky all over. “If it isn’t too much to ask, could you help me get some other clothes of sorts. What I really need is a shower, but I can do that when I go home.”

“You’re going to go home tonight?” Jungwoo asks. “Okay, so here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna text your parents you’re going home with some girl because I assume that’s what they  _ want _ which is  _ weird _ , but then you’re gonna come home with me and I’m going to give you the best damn bubble bath you’ve ever had along with a shower because you’re going to need both.” 

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Taeyong replies, pulling out his phone. There’s only a little bit of blood on it and Taeyong wipes it on his shirt and texts his parents. They message back ‘okay,’ and Taeyong stands up. “Seriously, I feel so gross ugh.” Taeyong grabs his jacket and holds it in between two of his fingers.

“I’m sure you do, but I have an emergency towel in my car.” Jungwoo stands as well and they both look at Taeyong's jacket that's literally dripping.

“I’m gonna toss this,” Taeyong says, walking over to a nearby trashcan and tossing the expensive jacket in there.

“Oh, by the way,” Jungwoo calls from the stairs and Taeyong looks up to him. “I would kiss you right now, but you’re covered in pig's blood.” Taeyong smiles.

“What about if I get all the blood off?” Taeyong asks, teasing a bit.

“Then we can talk about it.” Jungwoo smiles too, so they walk side by side to Jungwoo’s car. “I really think you’re gonna have to ditch your pants too. Or just as much of this as you can because a towel will only do so much.”

“Yeah.” Taeyong isn’t the most comfortable with his body, but extenuating circumstances leaves him without another option. He takes off his bow tie all the way and pulls off his vest. The vest isn’t nearly as bloody as his jacket, but into the trash it goes. 

“Is that all you’re ditching?” Jungwoo asks. He’s come to stand next to Taeyong who is debating about ditching his shoes.

“I’m scared to take my shoes off because I know there’s puddles inside them.” Jungwoo snickers.

“Just do it,” Jungwoo encourages. Taeyong takes a deep breath and removes one of his shoes carefully before turning it upside down over the trash can. 

“Your friend really didn’t skim on the blood here. This isn’t just one pig. It’s at least three.” Jungwoo laughs again before putting a hand over his mouth. “Oh please, I’m trying to be funny here.” 

“It’s working, but I still feel bad for laughing.” Taeyong looks at Jungwoo with a completely blank face before pouring the blood out of his other shoe and Jungwoo bursts out laughing. “Taeyong!”

“What? This is my new coping method.” Taeyong ditches his socks as well. Into the trash they go. “I don’t really want to be pantsless on school property, so this is gonna have to work.” 

“Don’t worry, it's a beach towel so you’ll be fine.” They walk back to Jungwoo’s car and Taeyong honestly feels really good for the first time in forever. No pressure to be someone else. He’s already stripped himself bare, metaphorically to Jungwoo and at least partially to a good chunk of all the seniors here. “Why’d you get quiet?”

“I’m just thinking,” Taeyong replies, climbing into Jungwoo’s car onto his towel, extra careful not to touch anything. “I’m gonna skip on a seatbelt, so please tell me you’re a good driver.”

“I am. Doyoung is the one you shouldn’t drive with. He drives like he wants to be pulled over.” 

“Uh oh.” 

“You’ll probably never have to. I only know him because of who he dates,” Jungwoo explains. “But anyway, I’m really glad I ran into you.” Jungwoo starts the car and looks forward, but Taeyong can see that he’s blushing. “I don’t really believe in fate, but I believe that there was a reason I saw you tonight.”

“That’s kinda gay.” The word still feels foreign on Taeyong’s tongue, but he thinks he’ll get used to it.

“Yeah, I guess it is. But I’m okay with that.” Jungwoo drives away from the school and Taeyong hums, looking out of the window.

“I’ve never dated anyone before,” Taeyong confesses.

“I promise you, we’ll figure things out.” Those are the words that give Taeyong the most comfort. He doesn’t need some stupid plan to get his life right, all he has to do is live his truth with confidence, even as cheesy as that sounds. And having someone to help him start off on that path seems like a good way to make sure he stays on it. 

Taeyong knows when he wakes up tomorrow, he’s going to panic over everything he’s done tonight. He knows that he’ll regret it for a bit. Because it’s hard to break the chain of thought Taeyong has been so forcefully fed all his life. But Taeyong thinks he can do it though, and that should be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/occultclysms)   
>  [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.qa/carrotyeol)


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